Our trip to Germany. Day 6.

     Today was my favorite day of our entire trip.  It was zoo day.  And so we headed to the Munich Zoo via train and immediately knew it would be a good day.  It was much like many zoo trips, except that my kid LOVES animals and got to do something very special.  She did something she still  talks about.  Because see in the Munich Zoo they have a petting zoo that you can actually walk into the pens with the animals (specifically goats and small deer).  Maggie LOVED it.  She still talks about "pet a goat" and asks to pet a goat a lot.  This will mostly be a photo dump of pictures from the day.

Getting ready

one of the adorable goats we got to pet

Maggie petting the goats

Maggie swinging in one of the swings at the park

Another one of the swings

a goat trying to get food out of the dispenser OVER the fence

Scott's favorite part of the zoo, the PENGUINS

All bundled up in her stroller

Daddy was her favorite person by this point

My monkeys with a monkey

     The rest of the evening was interesting as well.  Today we walked out a different entrance of the zoo than the one we entered and quickly succeeded to get lost on a wooded trail near a small town.  We walked and walked thinking we would find the bridge to cross the river to the train station, but the bridge never came and the woods went on for what seemed like forever.  So we found a beer garden that had a nice restaurant in it.  We ate dinner & had the restaurant call us a taxi.  We took the taxi back to the train station and went back to our hotel.  

     As you can see our days are never dull in Germany & now I am glad for that as it makes our time in Germany even more special.  

Our Trip to Germany. Day 4 & 5.

     Warning this post includes information about a Nazi concentration camp.  It may be emotional to some, but is a part of our trip I don't want to ignore.

     On Day 4, we did nothing.  We walked around Unterhaching & ate at McDonalds & played in the hotel play room, but we did not go anywhere.  We were just too tired & too comfortable in our hotel room.

     On Day 5, we went to Dachau, a concentration and prison camp just north of Munich, reachable by train.  If you want to know more about the camp than what I will talk about here please visit Wikipedia for a run down.  This camp was not what we, as Americans, think of when we hear the term.  We think of places like Auschwitz in Poland and horrific images of children starving to death or being put to death by gas chamber, but Dachau has it's history and it was still a somber experience.  One in which I am glad I had Maggie there to remind of the good in life.

How could you forget the good with this little bundle

 of joy keeping you company?

     Today though we set an alarm clock because it takes about an hour to get to Dachau from our hotel and we wanted time to be able to walk the grounds without rushing.  So we got up and got ready.  And went to the train.  The day started with a snag in the plans as our train could not take us all the way to the train station in Dachau because someone had jumped on the tracks to commit suicide.  This was explained on the train in German and it took someone coming up to us & talking in English for us to understand we needed to get off the train early & catch a taxi to the camp.  And so that's what we did.  We shared a taxi with a couple going to work & were pleased to find the taxi driver spoke excellent English & had a wonderful conversation on the way.
     Once at the camp we ate sandwiches in the cafe & got coffee.  After eating & heading to the entrance we quickly realized that the stroller we took sucks on gravel & made for a fun adventure through the camp, as most of the grounds are gravel.  Maggie did enjoy being able to run free in the camp, although we tried to keep her quiet so others could absorb the depth of the experience in their own way.  Just as we wanted to.  Scott and I were amazed at the place & spoke very little except when we noticed something we thought the other would find interesting.
     I cannot describe the feelings I felt while in the camp or reading of the horrors, but I will share the few things that stuck out most to me.
     This camp was not used for mass murder, but there was a gas chamber and a hanging place.  And much torture and beatings took place.  One of the things that stuck out to me most was that one of the forms of torture included doing something I am very familiar with doing.  The prisoners would be forced to stand at attention for hours or even days on end without food or water in the yard used for roll call.  I do not believe I have ever stood at attention in the Army for longer than about an hour straight & so I can only imagine the torture it would be for the prisoners to stand there longer, not being allowed to help those that fell out or died in the yard because of the punishment.  I prayed for there souls and told them all how sorry I was.
     The next thing that struck me almost to silence was walking into the crematorium.  This is where the prisoners would be cremated, sent to the "showers" (gas chamber), or hung.  This is also where they would sanitize the clothing dead prisoners wore for use by the new prisoners coming into the camp.

These are the crematorium incinerators.  2-4 bodies could be

placed inside at once.  Bodies were stored in piles in 2 rooms

adjacent to this room. 

This is the beam that prisoners would be hung

from.  This beam is directly in front of the 

incinerators. 

This is one of about 5 chambers that were used

to sanitize the clothing of dead prisoners.  Sanitation

included piling the clothing in this chamber and gassing 

it.  Vents would be open to air out the chamber.  I have been

through a gas chamber because of my Army training and know

first hand what putting on gassed clothing feels like.  This

would not have been pleasant for incoming prisoners.  

     I was unable to take pictures of the gas chamber.  It was designed to look like a shower room, complete with shower heads, as to trick the prisoners into their own deaths without any resistance.  You had to walk through the chamber to get to other parts of the building.  Adjacent to the chamber was the room in which the prisoners would undress and wait to walk to their own deaths, thinking they were about to receive much welcomed showers.  When I walked into the chamber, I felt a sense of dread come over me that I have never felt before.  It was an instant sadness and dread that I could never explain, except that all I wanted to was escape from the room and was saddened to silence for minutes afterwards.  

     The next form of torture for the prisoners was one that would have a lasting effect, even on those who lived, because this torture was in the form of suppression.  The prisoners were required to keep spotless barracks and common areas.  They were so scared of what would happen to them that the wood floors shined and not a prisoner dared to wear shoes within the building.  Even the toilets had to be spotless.  The floors shined so well that in a black and white photo taken just after the liberation of the camp you can see the floors shining.  The floors were plain wood, not treated wood, so this was indeed a form of torture.  

This is the common room of one of the barracks.  Can you 

imagine making that wood shine?

     The only thing that put me at ease within the camp was knowing that those who died there in vain would never be forgotten.  This is evident by the amount of people who toured the camp the same day we did as well as the number of memorials held within the camp itself.  

These are just three of the memorials. 

     This was one of the few things on the trip I knew I must do.  I could not go into Germany and not remember those who had fallen at the hands of the barbaric Adolph Hitler.  I will never forget the horror of this camp and I only saw it through memorials and photographs and a few relics.  I will never let this happen again and wish so much that I could help those who are threatened by genocide even in today's society.  I will never forget.  

     We did however follow up this somber visit to Dachau with a dinner in the city.  I ate crispy skin pork with sauerkraut and potatoes.  This was the best meal I had while in Germany and I even enjoyed the sauerkraut.  

     Oh, but I should say that the trip back from Dachau to Munich and our hotel was VERY eventful.  I was in charge of our train tickets that day & found them safely in my pocket all day long.  I even checked my pocket before stepping on the train.  Today though the train officials decided to walk around checking tickets.  I reached in my pocket for the ticket & found it empty.  EMPTY.  I had somehow lost it in the five minutes before boarding the train.  This loss of ticket costs us 80 euro and a trip off the train with the officials.  I wanted to cry, but now I laugh.  I would be the one to lose a ticket on the very day the officials check the tickets.  During the rest our time in Munich, we saw the officials only one other time & they were not checking tickets.  FIGURES because we had our ticket every other day.  

Our Trip to Germany. Day 3.

     I would like to start off with a few announcements.
     First, in just 5 or so weeks I will be moving back to NC.  I pick up the keys to my new home on January 13th and couldn't be more excited about it.  It will be sad to leave my family, but wonderful to set up a home for my husband's return.  Please pray that the moving goes smoothly, that I do not pull my hair out, and that the job hunt once I move up there is short & that I find a wonderful position that I love, preferably in an office in the financial field.
     Second, I would also like to ask for prayers as I begin the C25K (Couch to 5 K) journey tomorrow.  I really need to pass my PT test after almost 3 years of failing it so that I can get promoted, receive the last portion of my bonus, qualify for Tuition Assistance, and just be on better terms with my unit.  This is a goal I am going to work for to pass my PT by the middle of February.  And also pray as I mentally prepare to start a healthy life style after the first of the year to lose weight (the weight I have been trying to lose for 2 years now, but am pretty sure that I am finally mentally ready to do).
     Third, please keep my sister in your prayers.  She is pregnant with her 4th child, a little girl names Jonnalee.  My sister is only 33 weeks, but is having some spotting and random contractions.  Please pray that Jonnalee stay put for at least another month, preferably until after the 8th of January as that is when my sister is having her baby shower (she hasn't had a baby in over 8 years, so she kind of needs to be spoiled again).
     Okay, but that is it.  Now on to GERMANY!!!!!

     On day 3, Maggie was feeling much better and even slept in until about 10 am, which was AWESOME!  After getting ready, we decided to head into the city and go to Marienplatz to explore and see the Glockenspiel.  Today, our train ticket buying went much better and only spent 10 euro instead of 50 euro.  We made in to Marienplatz just in time to see the Glockenspiel in action.  It was exactly what the reviews said- a huge tourists attraction that is actually quite boring.  But it was cool to see.  After seeing the Glockenspiel, we decided that we needed to eat.  So we ate at restaurant not far from the plaza center.  While at lunch, Scott ordered a beer as big as his head & I saw a woman cut spaghetti with a spoon.

     After lunch we just started walking down the street, with no particular destination in mind.  And how about this?  WE FOUND A STARBUCKS! But German holiday flavors are different from American flavors, like no pumpkin spice or caramel brulee. But it was Starbucks nonetheless and we walked right in and order right up and rejoiced in its yummy goodness as we wondered through the streets of Munich.  

     We found lots of beautiful buildings, but have no idea what any of them were.  We found tons of shops, but did not walk into any of them.  But it was wonderful to walk around the streets of Munich talking with my husband and being a family again.  Scott and Maggie got more bonding time.  Maggie fell asleep in her stroller again, but again today refused to walk.  She knew she was in a new, strange place and acted accordingly.  Scott loved it.  I hated it.  

     After walking around for about 4 hours we hopped back on the train and headed back to our hotel and enjoyed some room service, where a club sandwich has an egg on it and soup was still piping hot.  We watched some German TV, hung out as a family, washed laundry from where Maggie puked on me, and discovered the play room in the hotel.  It was a great day to just be a family.  

Our Trip to Germany. Day 2.

     We had decided to do something fun for Maggie today so we located an aquarium in Olympiapark but we woke up to a little girl not feeling well.  Feeling so under the weather that she puked all over me.  Not once but twice.  It was an AWESOME experience.  One that I would recommend you NOT encounter in your whole life.  Scott did run out to a pastry shop down the street to get us breakfast which was delicious! We walked to the train station & we paid WAY too much for our tickets because we didn't understand the ticket we needed.  So €54 later, we were changing trains like pros and walking around Olympiapark like tourists who knew exactly where we were going.  We didn't though & even ended up walking in the wrong door at the aquarium (I guess we should have learned a bit more German before our trip).

    The aqurium was expensive & no better than any I had gone to before in North Carolina.  But Maggie and Scott used it as a time to bond.  He held her the whole way through the aquarium & looked at the fish with her. I just pushed the stroller and took pictures (which a BIG thank you goes out to my father-in-law for letting me borrow his wonderful Canon DSLR camera).  While in the aquarium Maggie would not let Scott put her down & I refused to carry her.  Scott loved the fact that Maggie was letting him carry her.  

     This was also the first we had laid eyes on the BMW Welt, Museum, and Headquarters.  This made Scott very happy as he has a slight obsession with BMW (only a slightly less obsession than his obsession with penguins).  Olympiapark was also beautiful and very cool to walk through.  We ate at a small restaurant in the park & were very timid about ordering & such.  This was the first place I had encountered that the language barrier was slightly an issue.  We did not know how to order or anything considering that it was a walk up to the bar & order, then seat yourself & they will bring your food to you kind of place.  It was good food & this is where I realized I love that Coke doesn't come with ice in it.  
     As we left dinner we decided to walk through the park some more back to the train.  On the walk through the beautiful park, we put Maggie in her stroller so that we could wrap her up in her stroller blanket.  The little girl FELL ASLEEP in her stroller.  I can barely get her to ride in her stroller for longer than 5 minutes in the states, much less get her to fall asleep in it.  

This is probably my favorite picture of the whole trip

     She slept all the way back to the hotel and then stayed up late.  We all enjoyed the bonding and playing together though so none of us complained.  And the next day we would go to Marienplatz to explore.  

Our Trip To Germany. Day 1.

So you want to know about my two week stay in Germany do you?  Yeah, I would want to know too.  I would want to know about the attractions, about the food, about it all.  And hey, I would definitely want to know about such a trip with a toddler in tow.  So here we go, let me take you on a journey to Bavaria (the state) Germany and Salzburg (the city), Austria.  Be ready for a roller coaster of lost train tickets and stories about what happens when you leave the zoo through an exit different from where you entered (because well you can't read a map in German).  So let's begin.

Day 1

     Day 1 was actually our travel day from Florida to Munich.  So because of my nerves & anticipation, the day started promptly at 8:00 a.m., at which time I climbed out of bed and jumped in the shower (mainly because I was not sure when my next shower would be, potentially 36 hours from then).  Maggie also woke up during this time & I gracefully handed her off to my dad so he could get a few last minute cuddles before his favorite girl left for 3 weeks.  After my shower I dried & straightened my hair because trying to get to sleep on an airplane with a pony tail is always a disaster. 

     After this, I dressed and threw all my last minute stuff in my luggage, things like hair straighteners and medication and loaded my 2 suitcases, diaper bag, backpack, stroller, purse, and car seat into my Sorento.  And then we were ready... To head to Target.  My parents where driving me to the airport but I wanted to stop at Target for some Starbucks, extra batteries, and wisps (the things you can brush your teeth with with no water).  I needed Starbucks because 1) I hadn't slept well the night before 2) was about to be on an airplane for 12+ hours 3) my terminal in the airport was the only place the airport DID NOT have a Starbucks and 4) this was the first day that the season caramel brûlée latte was out.  So it was important. 

     When we arrived at the airport the recommended 3 hours early & checked in we quickly realized it would take no more than 20 minutes to go through security.  So my parents, Maggie, & I, plus all of our carry on luggage went for lunch at Romano's.  While I was not hungry because of my nerves, I ate a few slices of margarita pizza my dad & I shared.  After lunch I was delighted to discover a family line going through security, so if I took forever getting through with a 2 year old and all required stuff, IT WAS NOT MY PROBLEM.  But I didn't and the processes was much smoother than my nightmares lead me to believe it would be. 

     But I still had to occupy Maggie for about an hour and a half before boarding.  So I didn't what any mother traveling trans-antlanticly would do, I bought her jelly beans, iced tea, & sat by the window so she could look at the airplanes.  And our planes totally sponsored the Carolina Panthers and was Panther blue.  We boarded & that was a hassle trying to juggle everything & Maggie while collapsing the stroller, but I did it.  During take off I gave Maggie a new Elmo coloring book & crayons.  Then she watched Horton Hears A Who on my iPad while she fell asleep with her head in my lap graciously kicking the lady next to her.  Success! 

     Until we got off & Maggie refused to ride in her stroller.  You carry a 25 pound baby & back pack while pushing a stroller with a carseat attached through the Philadelphia airport.  Yeah I was sweating by the time we arrived at our gate.  I changed Maggie at the gate, in the floor because I refused to juggle all of our stuff into the bathroom to change her.  We boarded our 8 hour + flights & everything from there was pretty easy, except the food was gross, specifically the rice. 

     I did not sleep for 2 reasons.  The first was that Maggie wouldn't let me, she never slept long enough for me to fall asleep.  The second was that the closer our airplane got to Germany the more my stomach turned in anticipation of seeing my husband.  And eventually after what felt like forever we landed.  I rushed Maggie and I through passport control and got to the baggage claim, but there was no Scott.  He was supposed to land before me, but he wasn't there.

     Eventually (okay about 10 minutes) I saw a guy in an Adidas sweatshirt and a fedora walking towards me.  My heart jumped and I started crying.  To lay eyes on him was amazing, our first hug was the best I have ever received.  And while Maggie was not completely comfortable, she did let Scott hold her while I went to the bathroom.  We got our luggage which came out on the same belt, got cash out of the ATM (hello Euros & their different size bills), and caught a cab.  We were going to drop our luggage off at the hotel & walk around Unterhaching until it was time to check in.

     But when we arrived at our hotel we were pleased to find out that our room was ready and that we could check in early!  So after discovering that the hotel restaurant was not yet open, we all took a nap.  It was glorious & our beds were very comfortable.  I say beds because in Germany a king bed is comprised of 2 twin beds put together.  Maggie's crib also was nice & came with its own down comforter. 

A girl and her daddy after almost 9

months apart!

          (Short break to tell you about our hotel room.  It was twice the size of a normal hotel room & had 2 bathrooms, a wet bar, towel warmers, a desk, & a flat screen TV.)

     After our nap we ventured out into Unterhaching, but cut our trip short because we were starving.  We went back to the hotel & ate dinner.  I had the best pot of goulash EVER and Scott & Maggie split some schnitzel.  Both were delicious.  After dinner we hung out in our room & unpacked our luggage.  I was not living out of suitcases for 8 days.  And we went to bed. 

**a note our hotel was about 10 minutes walk to the train station followed by about a 20 minute train ride into the city of Munch.  We stayed in a hotel in a business district on the outskirts of Munich for our wallets sake.  Although if you ever go to Munich, Germany I completed & 100% recommend the Holiday Inn Munich-Unterhaching.  It was a superb hotel & the only downfall was its distance from the city, which was so worth the stay in the hotel. 

A flight home

     This morning I am boarding a plane to head back to the United States with the same dread in my heart that I felt the day he deployed. The fear of being apart, of him being in a war zone, of my daughter being without her father again. But I must stay strong, we are on the final leg. More than 3/4 of the way done, we hope. But I can't help the pain, the fear, the tears.
     But amid the tears and the dread, I am overwhelmed with memories of our first family vacation. We have been married over four years and other than our honeymoon, this is the first time we have gone on a vacation that did not require seeing family (while seeing our family is wonderful, bonding as our little family of 3 was awesome). The memories of the way Maggie's face lit up with delight when daddy took her swimming or when we would let her ride the Minnie Mouse carousel. The memories of feeding each other food we have never tried & discovering Maggie's love of spatzel. The ease of falling back into a partnership & arguing about making small decisions like whether or not to go into a department store while walking the city. And the joy in Scott's eyes every time he looked at his not-so-little little girl amazing him with all of her skills like talking, running, singing, and so much more. He is such a proud dad & I was able to see that so clearly while we were together.
     My favorite memory though was the tears that escaped my eyes when I saw Scott walking towards us in the airport the first day. The way Maggie did not reject him & the first hug. It was more overwhelming than I ever thought it would be. But that just confirmed that I have fallen more in love with my husband through out this entire deployment. And that after almost 9 months apart we fell right back into being a family.
     And a observation that will never slip my mind is that after 9 months apart and spending 15 days together in a small hotel room (or 3 actually) we did not fight. We did not argue. We spend 15 days loving our time together, never taking it or each other for granted. But now I realize just how much I want my husband home. Just how much I hate the distance that will separate us, the ocean between us. But I have so much to look forward to. I have so much to be happy for.
      I have so much to be thankful for. We are a family no matter where we are at & we always will be & I have that to look forward to each day & I cannot thank God enough for my family or for these 15 days or that my husband will be home in 3-4 months. I cannot express how much it all means to me. Stay tuned for more details on the 2 weeks we spent in Germany over several posts. We did so much & I want to share it with you all. (This should have been posted this morning, but lack of Internet impeded my efforts.)

Prayer Warriors Needed.

I am writing tonight to ask my readers to pray or think good thoughts or just take a second out of their own lives to give whatever they can to a family I know.

This family has 4 members. a dad, a mom, and 2 small boys (both under 3) and live somewhere in Texas.  The father in this family found out a few weeks ago that he had a tumor on his brain, on his pituitary gland.  During his pre-op appointment, he under went a CT scan and other testing.  After his doctors reviewed his CT scan, they informed the family that the father had 5 abnormalities on his right lung.

I ask that you pray for this man, this family, and the doctors and nurses charges with taking care of him.

This family is one of the sweetest, kindest, and God fearing families I know.  The dad is also a veteran of the USMC, he served with my husband.  These two young boys need their father.  And the world needs him, because he will do great things.

The father goes back in Monday for further testing and goes in for surgery on Wednesday.  Please pray for this family.

God Bless You All.

Faith. My journey. Part 2.

When my husband deployed, I knew my faith in God needed to restored and empowered.  I needed to learn about my God, I needed to trust Him, and I needed to live a life He would be proud of.  I knew for my sanity this needed to happen.  I needed to let my burdens fall (of being a single mother with my husband deployed) and rest not on my own shoulders.  I needed to know I was being taken care of and that my family would be safe.  I needed to understand that no matter what happened, it was His plan and not my own.  I needed to know that only Heaven awaited my family and that this life is just a blimp on the radar, and therefore this deployment was just a blink of an eye, in the grand scheme of things.  I needed God for me and I needed God to cope.  
And so I connected with other women online who shared my passion for furthering our relationships with God, I started reading my Bible, I started an independent Bible study, and I started going to church.  I started praying at night and any time I felt I needed to, before meals, during stressful parts of my day, when I was upset.  I lifted it all up to Him.  And He carries the weight.  He carries the weight of a son in war, He carries the weight of a friend needing surgery to remove a brain tumor, He carries it all.  And do you know, my back hurts less, I have fewer headaches, and I feel more relaxed on a daily basis.  He is my rock.  
And over these last few months, I have found I trust the Lord.  I trust Him enough to go to bed every night knowing that even though my husband is deployed serving our country, he is safe.  I know that my family will be provided for no matter what, but that I should use my money to honor Him, not to honor myself.  (This is one reason I am compelled to share my story through the Internet, why not take advantage of this gift.). And I know that with my listening to the Lord, instead of my own heart, I will follow the path in life I am supposed to follow.  And because of this, I am at peace with my future.  It does not stress me out.  (Okay, I will be completely honest, it does not stress me out as much).  
I am proud to say I am Christian.  I am proud to read my Bible.  I am no longer ashamed of praying in public.  I will yell my belief and faith to all who will listen.  I am looking forward to further strengthening my relationship with God and giving it all over the only person who really can make or break my life.  

Faith. My journey. Part 1.

As a small child, I did not go to church.  My family did not pray before meals or bedtime.  I watched R rated movies, before I knew what R rated meant.  I had a Bible, given to me from a family member, but I never read it.  Until, I started going to church with a friend of my mom's around the age of 4.  I would ride the church bus to and from church.  I participated in Sunday school and children's church.  I remember loving being allowed to go to big people church on Sundays that children's church was not taking place.  I started going to G.A.s or Girls in Action.  I even went to a summer camp.  
I was saved and gave my heart to Jesus when I was 5 or 6, but I did it because I thought I should.  I do not remember believing in God or Heaven, mainly because I don't think I understood any of it.  As a grew older my "belief" in Jesus Christ stayed the same.  I was a Christian because my fiends were Christians.  I was saved because I was told it was the only way by the adults at church.  I memorized Bible verses, but never understood what they meant to me.  In the 6th grade my church switched from G.A.s to AWANAs, for which I was too old for.  I was also too young for the teen service.  I stopped going to church altogether.
It wasn't until high school I started exploring church again, when I went with a friend of mine to a Wednesday night youth group.  The youth group was fun, inviting, and friendly.  I remember God moving my heart that He was there for me.  But then the preacher told me if I didn't believe in Jesus Christ, I would die a horrible death.  At 14 or 15, I was too young to understand the scare tactics.  I was also too young to understand that what a preacher says may not be true.  But in my head, I did not want to believe in a God that would have no mercy on mankind.  I stopped going to church.
My sophomore year of high school, I met a guy.  He was a Catholic.  I had never encountered a Catholic.  I had never been to a Catholic church.  And so I explored what the Catholic church offered after his family invited me to church with them.  I found myself loving the church, the priest, the environment, the homilies, and everything about the church.  But I realized, I wasn't learning.  In a Catholic church you do not take your Bible, you do not receive a bulletin or program.  I did not pick up my Bible once in the almost 2 years I went to that church.  
I just couldn't bring myself to believe in a God I didn't know about.  During my senior year of high school, I read a book called Dummies Book of World Religions.  After reading the book, I realized that I was a Christian.  But I had no faith.  And so I made a vow to learn about Jesus Christ and believe in Him with all my heart.  I even started praying.
However, this vow was short lived with too many late nights and too many college classes, because as a freshman in college, I learned about partying and alcohol.  Not about God.  After my sophomore year I got married, and while my husband and I talked about going to church, it took us a long while to actually go.  It wasn't until February 2010 that we went to church for the first time together.  It never stuck, but we went occasionally, as long as Maggie would cooperate.  And it was wonderful to grow my faith in the Lord along side my husband.  But those visits also stopped as we made excuses for our not attending.  
But then my husband deployed...

Wordless Wednesday 8/17/11

Happy Anniversary. Our Story. Day 7.

     But with all the details of my wedding, I remember one thing most. How proud and overjoyed and thankful and humbled, that this man I met when I was 14 was choosing me as his wife. I remember the calm that overcame me when I said I do (both times) and how when I walked in the doors and saw my groom for the first time on our wedding day how everyone else in the church disappeared and it was just him and I. I thank God at the same moment a tear escaped my eyes, because I was about to embark on the rest of my life with the best man I have ever met as my husband.


     I remember the brief private moment in the back of the church as we exited the sanctuary and the smile that my husband gave me. It was a smile that said he was as happy to be my husband as I was to be his wife. I remember the first time my new last name was said publicly and how weird it sounded, but how happy I was for it to be my name. I remember the love the swelled in my heart as we danced to "Need I Say More" and looked into his eyes.

     I remember calling him a silly monkey during my vows and the church laughing without knowing what it meant to us. I remember driving away with a pan full of food, laughing about how we were only going to be gone one night. I remember us laughing at how long it took me to get all the hairspray out of my hair even though my hair was down for the wedding. And I remember the beating of his heart as we fell asleep that night.

      It wasn't about the flowers or the cake or the food, it was about marrying the man of my dreams. And today it isn't about the house we live in or the cars we drive or the dinners we enjoy out, it is about the growing and nurturing of that love each and everyday. And as we celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary today, I still thank God every night for bringing Scott back to me again and again. I thank God for the fact that I love my husband more today than I did the day we married. And I thank God that we can now share the love we have to one another with our beautiful daughter.

     And today as I sit celebrating our anniversary alone, I thank God that my husband is fighting for my freedom. That he is fulfilling his duty to our country and it's people. I know that we are apart, but this deployment has only made our hearts closer, our love stronger, and our marriage invincible. I just hope that my husband knows how much I do love him, no matter where he is at.

     Today I celebrate 4 years of marriage to the man of my dreams!

     Scott, I love you more than words can describe, but I will never stop trying. Please stay safe & come home soon, your family loves and misses you greatly.

Our Vows.

Scott to me...
Carla, you are my best friend. I have promised to support and encourage you in everything that you do. When you don't feel well I promise to do everything I can to make you more comfortable. I promise to love you and put you first in my life. I just hope that God lets us stay married in Heaven because " until death do us part" just isn't long enough.


Mine to Scott...
What do I say to my soulmate? There is nothing beautiful enough to say to you. All I can say is that because of you my days are brighter and rain clouds are less gloomy. You are my best friend, my other half, my soulmate. I will always be true to my silly monkey. I will be the best person I cant be for you. And I will always be there for you, through thick and thin. I will always be beside you. I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.


Today, these would be my vows...
Scott, I promise to love you no matter where you are or where you end up.  I promise to cherish every moment.  I promise to be the best person I can be for you and for our family.  I promise to always kiss you goodnight and to always say I love you before you leave.  I promise to cuddle with you and watch Top Gear.  I promise to nurture our love and to put our family and you before all else.  I promise that I will listen when you have a problem and be a shoulder to lean on when you need me.  I promise to love you forever and a day, because forever is just not long enough.  I promise to be yours for all of my days.

Our Story. Day 6.

     We still had our traditional wedding on August 11, 2007 at First Baptist Church of Geneva, Florida surrounded by our closest family and friends. About 70 people showed for our wedding. We wrote our own vows and had to scripture readings. We did not like a unity candle. We lit a candle in memory of my grandmother and let an empty stair spot in memory of Scott's good friend who had committed suicide soon after we were engaged.


     I had 3 bridesmaids and a maid of honor, Scott had 2 groomsmen and a best man. We had both a flower girl and a ring bearer. Scott's maternal grandmother played the piano for us. The groomsmen sat our grandparents and my mom. My daddy walked me down the aisle to meet my Marine at the alter that I gave my heart to Jesus on. I cried through out my vows. He memorized his. And then we were announced as husband and wife under the eyes of God.

     My sister announced us at the reception, mispronouncing our last name. We ate barbecue for our reception dinner, with sweet tea. We ate our cake, yellow cake with bovarian cream and butter cream frosting. We toasted with sherbert punch in penguin painted glasses. We danced and mingled. My maid of honor cried when I danced with my dad. And the best man made everyone laugh.

     I threw my bouquet and he removed my garter. We drove away in a 1965 red Mustang convertible with soda cans tied to the bumper. We then whisked away to our honeymoon suite in Tampa, Florida. It was perfect...

Our Story. Day 5.

     So I went back to Kentucky and started planning a wedding.  It was easy for us to set a date and we quickly booked a church. I made save the date cards with out engagement photograph. My wedding dress chose our colors. I bought decorations. I picked out flowers. I had a cake tasting. I helped my bridesmaids pick out dresses, which took longer than it took me to pick out me dress. I planned food. I made invitations. We booked a honey money, a Bahamian cruise. But then logistics got us.
     Because see, I lived in Kentucky and Scott in North Carolina, and we were getting married in my hometown in Florida. Scott scrutinized leave and travel plans. And we realized he didn't have enough leave to go on our honey moon and come to Florida in time to apply for and get our marriage license. How can you get married without a marriage license? We could not change our cruise, it was paid for but we couldn't and refused to have a wedding but not be married.

     And so after conversations, we decided that on one of my monthly trips to North Carolina we would get married at the justice of the peace on a Friday afternoon in Jacksonville, North Carolina. And so that is exactly what we did, without telling anyone, Scott and I were married by the magistrate in Jacksonville, North Carolina on June 1, 2007 a mere 6 months after our first date. After we were married we set up house, Scott lived in it, I lived in Florida with my parents for the summer of our wedding. And two months later...

Our Story. Day 4.

     And so we split ways, but we continued to text and talk on the phone. It was obvious to both of us we were together, exclusively. We were going to make this work. We were going to deal with the distance, because we loved each other and deserved to give our love a chance, when we had given up before. We were going to do this.
     In mid-January while talking on the phone one evening, I was told to start looking at rings. And I did (every girl wants to hear that line). And I found what I wanted and found that it was outside our price range. But then I called my mom. I asked her for the ring my dad had given her since she had "upgraded" a few years ago. And so my ring came together. We bought a new setting for the diamond, because I wanted white gold and had it remounted in Florida. The ring was shipped to me and I sat looking at it's box for almost a week before I was allowed to see it.

     The weekend following Valentine's Day I flew from Lexington, KY to Jacksonville, NC to spend a long weekend with Scott. The day I arrived we checked into our hotel and started getting ready. We had a photoshoot that evening for engagement photos. But I still wasn't wearing an engagement ring. I pointed this out and demanded he give me my ring before our photoshoot, because you cannot go get engagement photos without your engagement ring.

     After I was completely ready, decked out in my pink sweater and pearls, Scott had me sit down on the bed. He told me that he loved me and would love me my whole life. He then asked if I would marry him. (This was just a formality, but still very special.). He did not get down on one knee and he did not cry. But when he asked, I cried and of course said yes...

Our Story. Day 3.

     On Christmas Eve, Scott again text messages me to wish me a merry Christmas. After brief formality, he asked me to go to dinner with him on December 27th. He would tell you today it was out of boredom and desperation that he asked me, I was a last resort and he really just didn't want to go to his favorite restaurant alone. But several questions surrounded this dinner. Was it a date? What do I wear? Am I going to pay for myself? (We didn't realize until later that it was indeed a date.)


     So that Thursday, I got ready. I dressed casually but nice, since I didn't know where I was going. I straightened my hair and put on make-up. I wore a pink sweater, jeans, and my pointy toed boots. I have NO CLUE what he wore. Horrible, I know. He even picked me up. On the way to dinner, we talked about college and his new found enjoyment of country music (something he never listened to in high school). We talked about his job and his joining of the United States Marine Corps.

     I soon was told we were going to a restaurant called Seasons 52. It is a delicious restaurant, but I soon realized my company was mpeven nicer than the food. I found myself hanging on his every word, laughing at his jokes, and getting nervous. I was starting to realize that I liked him, again, again. We enjoyed dinner and dessert. We soon realized that we were not ready for the date to be over and went bowling, an activity we loved in high school and still loved years later. We joked and laughed and continued to catch up (and I checked out his butt when he bowled). After two games, we were getting bored, but again realized that we were not ready to end the date and go home.

     We decided to go see a movie. And so we saw Happy Feet because of Scott's slightly unhealthy obsession with penguins. On the way to the movie, I felt tensions rising and felt myself drawn to him. And so during the movie, we even held hands. And we may have even shared a kiss. After the movie, Scott drove me home, we shared a goodnight kiss and we parted ways.

     The next afternoon I invited him to my house for pizza and movies. He accepted the invitation. After this date, we were inseparable for the next 6 days. We got drunk on New Years, hung out with his dad, went out to dinner, and much more. One night (not New Years Eve, but not sure which night), laying on the couch watching television, Scott told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back. On our last night together, before Scott was to return to Maryland for MOS school, I watched him pack and I silently cried. I was about to say goodbye to the love of my life and there was no telling what the future was to hold...

Our Story. Day 2.

     So he hated me and I moved on. I just don't think either one of us really ever got over each other. Because as luck (bad luck, but luck) had it, Scott decided to call me in August 2005 to go to dinner. But the bad luck had it, our dinner date was the night before I moved from Florida to Kentucky to go to college. But we had a great time on our date and knew that something was still there. Though we never pursued a long distance relationship. It would never have worked anyway. We did keep in touch though through text messaging ever few months.
      During the 18 months that I was at the University of Kentucky we both pursued other relationships, I seriously and him casually. My relationship in college began to fall apart and just before Christmas of 2006, I broke things off with my boyfriend. I then went home to Florida, just wanting to have fun for 3 weeks before returning to both school and work.

     However, this trip home ended up being much different than I would have ever planned because of a man home on Christmas exodus...

Our Story. Day 1.

     My husband and I will celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary in one week.  So I came up with the idea to tell our story over the next week.  To get it down in writing.  To immortalize it.  We are together because of God and everyone should know that.  And everyone should know that I married the perfect man for me.  I wish so much that my husband could kiss me on our anniversary, but instead I will write our story.  Enjoy.


     It all started 10 years ago. I was a freshman in high school. He was a senior. And on a humid October night, fate intervened in each of our lives. See Lori, a mutual friend, brought new-to-town Scott to the homecoming football game. She introduced us. He introduced himself as Bob. I laughed as I quickly figured out that I wanted to get to know this older guy with long hair and a goatee.
     And so we did just that. At that football game, we talked. Well, truthfully I probably talked a lot and he probably listened a lot. However, I did find out he moved from Virginia to Florida just weeks prior and that he had a car (because when you are 14 that IS important). He walked me to the slushy stand and held me hand on the way back (oh high school romance). We watched the game (which we won) and hung out with my friends on the canon firing squad. The game ended, my mom called telling me she was there to pick me up, and we kissed. (Don't judge me, okay?)

     We did not exchange numbers. We did not plan a date (I am not sure I was actually allowed to date yet anyway). I just thought that would be it. But I was hooked. Afterwards, I grilled our mutual friend to find out how I could find him and how I could see him again. If he did the same thing, I will never know, but I doubt that he did. But again fate intervened. We ended up attending the same youth group concert.

     That concert was were it all sparked. We hung out the whole time, holding hands I am sure and enjoying each others company. That night we did exchange phone numbers. And from then on out, we spoke on the phone almost every night and saw each other at school as much as we could. We started going out to movies and bowling. He would come over to my house for dinner and swimming. I went to his house and made cookies.

     Our relationship was rocky and we broke up and got back together again, in good high school fashion, many times. We dated about 8 months on and off. As graduation approached, I got scared.  He was leaving me behind and because I was young, I didn't bother talking to him. And the day after his senior prom (poor timing, I admit), I broke up with him. He hated me from that day forward...

2 weeks

     I am 2 weeks into my journey with Medifast.  2 WEEKS!  I have had slip ups or out right moments of defiance, but overall I am owning the plan and seeing the number on the scale drop.  Win, right? 
     But the issue at hand, I was never very worried about the number on the scale as much as I was the number in my jeans.  I have a weight goal: 130-140 pounds.  But my ultimate goal, to fit into my favorite pair of jeans EVER.  A pair of size 8 American Eagle jean trousers.  Also my bin of jeans contains 8 pair of size 8's.  It contains 3 pair of size 6 jeans, 1 pair of size 10, and 2 ill-fitting pair of size 12. 
     Let me put my goal into perspective though.  See I am going to Germany in mid-November.  It will be cold by my Florida standards.  Mid-30s and 40s.  Maybe in the 50s IF we see sunlight.  I have to wear pants.  And I love wearing jeans.  So when I am shopping for clothes to go to Germany, I would love to only need tops.  I would love to just throw my array of size 8 jeans in my suitcase, with new tops, sweaters, and scarves and call it a day.  I don't care if the number on the scale is 145, IF I fit into size 8 jeans with no muffin top. 
     I have past history where at about 135 and in good athletic shape (straight out of basic training) I wore a size 6.  And at 145 six months later I wore a tight size 8.  So that's where my weight goal of between 130 and 140 comes from.  Because I don't know where I need to be in a size 8.
     Now, you are probably scratching your head.  Why not a size 6?  I actually wasn't happy at a size 6.  I felt like skin and bones.  And I know that is hard maintained weight.  Even while still in military training (AIT) with constant physical activity and limited access to "bad" food, I gained weight.  I want to be at a weight that is easily maintained with minimal effort.  I don't want to track calories for the rest of my life.  I want my new found skills to be enough.  And I maintained a size 8 from the time I left AIT until I got pregnant with Maggie, so I know I CAN maintain there. 
     But now I am sure you want to hear about my first two weeks, right?  I started strong.  I followed the plan exactly.  I ate every 2.5 hours.  I drank 1 gallon of water or more everyday.  I worked out.  I felt good.  And within 1 week, I had lost 5.5 pounds.  It  made me feel great.  I was excited about the plan, although I despise the vanilla shakes.  I have found no way to make them better.  I am very fond of the chicken noodle soup and wish I had ordered more of it.  I am rationing it out until my next order arrives. 
     But then an event, 4 years in the making happened.  Military ball 2011 at my alma mater and my little sisters high school.  She is a senior this year and her service to NJROTC far exceeded what I ever imagined for her.  My attendance was mandatory to support her.  The menu however did not support my Medifast plans.  And I could have lied to myself, planned not to eat my lean and green there, taking instead a bar, but I know myself enough to know that would never happen.  I would still eat the dinner there.  So instead I made zucchini chips at home and took them with me.  I ate the steak I was served, the zucchini chips, and zucchini and squash off my sister and mom's plates.  This was a win.  But here is the fail.  I ate a roll.  I love bread, it is my weakness.  And I succumbed.  But then before I could catch our server, he sat down a piece of ceremonial cake in front of me.  Horrific right?  It was the smallest piece of cake I had seen, so I ate it.  Why not? 
     But then came "breakfast" afterward.  And while I won't get into the details of what I ate, it was pretty bad and included bacon.  Although, I am proud.  While I indulged in foods I shouldn't have according to Medifast.  I ate the smallest serving I could in the foods I did eat.  I had just one piece of bacon, one spoon of grits, et cetera.  And I still drank nothing but water all night.  From 6:30pm until 2:30am I probably drank a gallon of water.  This was on top of the 3 liters I had already had during the day.  It doesn't make what I did (or what I ate) better but I can see the changes in my attitude toward food changing. 
     So even after my hiatus on Saturday/Sunday I was still successful.  But you ask how much?  I lost another 2.5 pounds.  For a total of 8 pounds since I started, just two weeks ago. 
     Oh can I just say that skippy natural peanut butter is the yummiest peanut butter ever! 

So here it is:
Weight loss this week: 2.5
Weight loss since 1/15/2011: 15.5
Weight loss since starting Medifast: 8
Weight left to lose: 22.5 (I am using 135 as goal)

     I have some struggles coming up that are going to hard.  First, I have heard from a lot of people that week 3 on Medifast is one of the hardest.  I hope to combat this by working out more and getting back to drinking lots of water.  My goal is 1+ gallons a day.  Second, is my sisters high school graduation next week.  This includes her graduation party / bbq.  I will have to plan well for this day.  I have faith I will do it though! 

How do you stay on track at social events?  How do you resist temptation?  How do you do it?
Do you struggle with the number on the scale versus the number in your jeans, on a tape measure, etc?
Do you think I am crazy for wanting to be a size 8? 

My plan.

     After talking to so many wonderful women, both in real life and on the internet, I have come up with a plan that I think will work for me.  A diet that will allow me to lose my weight quickly and safely.  A long term plan that allows me to lose my weight and learn to live within the world at the new and improved weight.  So are you wondering what my plan is yet?  Let me first give you some background.

     I am required to take my PT test here in the next few weeks.  This PT test is required both for a much needed, deserved, and wanted promotion from PFC to SPC.  This means a little more money on a monthly basis.  Passing this PT test also means that I am again eligible for tuition assistance and can get help paying for my graduate school education.  I can get up to $750 a class, and that would be really helpful in terms of staying out of debt and better off financially.
     To pass my PT test I need to train and train REALLY hard for the next month.  As I am planning on taking my PT test on May 31.  So for the next month, I will be following the following schedule:

Sit Ups (SU) & Push Ups (PU):

Monday through Saturday: 

• Do reps of each exercise as follows: 2 minutes PU -> 2 minutes SU -> 1 minute PU -> 1 minute SU -> 30 seconds PU -> 30 seconds SU
• GOAL: To do 50 sit ups in 2 minutes and 20 push ups in 2 minutes

Running:

• Monday, Wednesday, and Friday:
• Run for 30 minutes.  Make sure to cover 2 miles in the 30 minutes.
• Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
• 30 minutes of interval running:
• Week 1: 30 seconds running, 60 seconds walking
• Week 2: 45 seconds running, 90 seconds walking
• Week 3: 60 seconds running, 180 seconds walking
• Week 4: 60 seconds running, 120 seconds walking
• GOAL: To run 2 miles in under 19:30

     But now you are asking what kind of plan I am going to follow to lose weight right?  Because exercise is never enough.  Especially to drop weight fast.  I have decided to follow the Medifast diet.  I have the support of several women online through blogs and Twitter and am VERY excited about this plan.  It is very structured.  

     If you are here from Medifast, I bet you are saying you cannot start Medifast and train the way I am going to.  You are right.  If you follow a traditional Medifast plan of 5 & 1.  After discussing my options and my situation with a Health Coach, I have decided to start the plan by using a 4 & 2 plan.  I will eat 4 Medifast meals everyday and 2 Lean & Green meals everyday.  Once I pass my PT test, I will go to the traditional 5 & 1 plan until I lose my weight.  I placed my order last Thursday.  My order shipped on Friday.  And I will start the diet the day after it arrives, no matter what day of the week that is.  

     I realize that although I have the best intentions with the plan I still may experience some tiredness and hunger, so if needed during the first week I will cut back on my exercise.  Although I am going to try my hardest not to stop my exercise.  

     So maybe you are wondering the stats: where am I at now?  where do I want to be?  how long do I think it take to get there?  

          I weigh 165 pounds as of a few days ago.  But I will weigh myself first thing on the day I start the   

                diet and will use that weight from here on out to track. 

          I would like to weigh between 135 and 140.  

          I believe that I can safely lose the 25-30 pounds within 16 weeks, or 4 months.  This is making 

                 sure that I give myself time.  I really hope to lose the weight within 12 weeks, or 3 months. 

So see you next week, after I have started Medifast.  Good luck to everyone this week. 

$387.64.

     So this is what $387.64 worth of groceries and super market items look like.  BUT, how much exactly did I pay for all of this?  $134.47!!!  For a total savings of $250.17.  Let me give you a break down of everything I got. 

• 1.15 pounds Perdue chicken
• 2.99/lb with .75/1
• 4 64 oz. bottles of Juicy Juice
• B1G1, $2/4
• 4 Publix Fruit Snacks
• 4/$5 
• 2 Bic Disposable Razors
• B1G1, used 2 $3/1
• 1 jar green olives
• 2 cans black olives
• 4 Emeril ravioli
• 5/$5, used 4 $1/1
• 1 Gallon of milk
• Tyson bag of chicken patties
• B1G1
• Tyson bag of chicken nuggets
• B1G1
• 6.78 pounds chicken breast
• B1G2 @ Albertson's
• 3 bags of Tilapia
• B1G1 @ Albertson's
• 18 pack of Bud Light
• $4 off @ Albertson's
• 4 Voskos Greek Yogurts
• 10/$10, used 4 $1/1
• 1 box of Tampax Pearl Tampons
• $2/1 with $2 RR @ Walgreens
• 1 tube of Fixodent Free
• $3.99/1, used $1.25/1, $1 RR @ Walgreens
• 2 Sierra Mist 2-liters
• FREE with purchase of bag of Kettle Cooked chips
• 2 bags Tostitos chips
• 2 $1/1 Publix coupon, 2 $1/1
• 4 cans of Pedigree dog food
• B3G1
• 4 Glad Oil Twin Pack Refills
• B1G1, 4 $1/1
• 4 Bags Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
• B1G1, 2 $2/2
• 8 Bic Soleil Bella Razors
• B1G1, 8 $3/1
• 4 Colgate toothpaste
• 2/$3, 4 $.75/1
• 2 bags of Pedigree Good Bites
• 2/$6, 2 $1/1
• 2 Bags of medium dentastix
• 2/$6, 2 $1/1
• 2 loaves of bread
• B1G1
• 2 bottles of Excedrin
• B1G1, 2 $.75/1
• 2 boxes of Land'o'Lakes Margarine
• $1.59/1, $1/1
• 2 Publix brand steam in bags of Broccoli 
• 10/$10
• 2 boxes taquitos
• B1G1, 2 $1/1
• 2 5lb bags of sugar
• Publix brand chocolate wafers
• nail polish remover
• 2 packages of Oreos
• 2/$5
• 2 boxes John Frieda Foam hair color
• 2 $5/1 Target coupon, 2 $5/1 manufacturer
• 2 things of Clearisil Face Wash
• 25% off, $3/2
• 2 12 rolls of Cottenelle toilet paper
• $5 each, 2 $1/1 Walgreen coupon, 2 $.50/1

     I shopped at Albertson's, Publix, and Walgreens.  And I still have $3.00 in Register Rewards to use at Walgreens.  I think i might go get some Zyrtec for Scott.  The bold items are things I got completely for free.  I saved 64% off all of these items.  Please stay tuned for my next shopping trip on May 15!!!

     Please know that I use the website I Heart Publix as my main resource.  As well, I retrieve coupons from online resources and newspapers.    

Broken heart.

     I hope you have never experienced a broken heart.  although unlikely, I hope you have not.  I have.  Many times.  At the age of 8 in 1995, when my grandmother died.  As a freshman in high school, year 2002, when a childhood friend and classmate died tragically in a car accident.  In 2004, as a senior in high school when I realized "the love of my life", wasn't.  As a sophomore in college, 2006, when I was told I could have cancer and needed immediate surgery at the ripe age of 19.  Again in 2008, when I lost the first child of my marriage.  And in 2010, when my dad told me my mom shot herself (she is beautiful and healthy now).  But none of those felt as heavy as this.  
     Nothing prepared me for living apart from my soul mate for a year.  Nothing prepared me for the nightmares of a husband at war.  That broken routines would cause images of black cars and Marines in dress uniforms.  Nothing could have prepared me for the broken heart. Nothing. 
     I know it sounds crazy.  I know I should not be saying this.  My husband is safe.  My husband is alive.  My husband is healthy.  And I talk to him through some sort of way almost everyday.  I am grateful.  But the smile that I don't see haunts me.  The hugs I don't feel drown me.  And the empty bed envelopes my soul with icy loneliness.  A bitter reminder every night that I will embrace the new morning alone and weary. 
     And the heartache, it is in my bones.  It is in my brain.  It is in my joints.  It is in my soul.  As I feel the pains of loneliness, depression, heartache at the core of myself.  I feel it all taking hold of me as I struggle to free myself from the tightening fingers.
     And I wonder am I strong enough?  Am I strong enough to beat a deployment.  Am I strong enough to beat depression and heartache, again?  Will this make my husband worry even more about me while he is over there?  Are these feelings normal?  Does my husband feel these same types of feelings, in some amount?  Am I really alone?  These are the questions I asked once I admitted the weariness, the pain, the loneliness, the depression was just holding on tighter. 
     And as I realized the grip I was feeling, I automatically started beating myself up.  I wasn't being strong for my husband if I admitted depression. I wasn't "holding down the fort" if I needed to see a doctor again?  I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain.  My part of being a military spouse. 

(This post is raw.  This post began as an "I can't sleep" tirade.  But it turned into something much deeper.  It turned into an admission that I am in relapsing from a disease I will fight my whole life.  And while I have not yet called a doctor to discuss treatment, it is on my to do list for tomorrow- since it is 1:30am right now.  I will fight again and I will win again.) 

Cutting expenses.

     So I posted earlier about my trip to Germany and putting away my credit cards.  That is step 1 to saving money and getting debt free.  So beyond putting away the credit cards, I must cut expenses.  So here are a few ideas that I come up with to cut expenses and SAVE MORE MONEY.

1.  Clipping coupons.  My goal is to save $200 a month, shopping sales and using coupons during my shopping trips.  And although couponers say that stock piling is important, I will only buy what we need, unless I can get something for free.  So any cash left in my "grocery" envelope at the end of each pay period will be deposited into a bank account or locked jar that I will break prior to my trip to Germany.
2.  I am going to try to only drive 3 times a week.  I will only leave the house other than those 3 days on emergencies.  This will require planning of errands and such around those three days.  (Driving to and from drill will only count as one day.)
3.  I am going to save half of my monthly allowance every month for my own personal spending money for the trip and/or clothes for the trip.
4.  I am going to eat out as little as I can (we all know that we get those urges to go out) and save any money left over at the end of the month into the jar or bank account.
5.  Any other money left over in my envelope system (except hair cut money that must carry over for me to get a haircut) will also go into the jar or bank account.

     Do you have any other ideas that I can use to cut down on expenses every month?  I will add to this list as I figure out more ideas.

Drastic times call for drastic measures.

     So many of you may know and many of you may not, but Scott, Maggie and I are going to GERMANY for 15 days this November.  We are very excited about the trip for multiple reasons.  Mainly because it will be the first time in over 8 months that we will all be together.  Another perk is that Maggie will get to spend her 2nd birthday with her daddy, despite his deployment, IN ANOTHER COUNTRY!  We are also generally excited about spending 15 days in Germany.  A place my husband has ALWAYS wanted to visit and that I am warming up to.
     But as you can guess this trip is going to be expensive.  Even with the deals we are getting, it will still cost a pretty penny.  And I need to save as much as possible for the trip between now and then.  So you must know a few things to understand how I am doing this.
     1.  I am not working, but I am living with my parents.  I will not be working as I will be staying home with Maggie and going back to school to get my MBA.  Going back to school means I will have an income, especially once I pass my PT test in May, but it will not be much.
     2.  I will no longer have to pay my student loans every month because I can defer them because I am in school.
     3.  We still want to pay off debt.  So the more money we save, and the quicker we save it, the faster we can get back to paying off debt.
     4.  While we have a specific amount of money we want to save for the trip.  We are planning to do as much as we can over there that is free.  And if it is not free, we will try to do it as cheaply as possible.  We have a few things we want to splurge on, like renting a BMW to drive on the Autobahn.  We will take advantage of the activities our resort has to offer as much as possible, especially food.  This is so that we do not have to drive anywhere and because we get 40% off of food that is served in one of the resort restaurants.  And so, we will be as frugal as possible and we hope to come home spending less than we saved and will automatically use that money for either Christmas presents or our debt snowball.

     And so, I will admit to you my problem.  Having access to credit cards and money through several accounts.  So today I decided that if I really am going to save as much money as humanly possible, I must lock up any unneeded debit cards and all credit cards.

     These cards are in my husband and I's names, so they are not all mine, but they are all of the ones that I have access to and COULD use.  So these 8 cards went into a sealed envelope.  On the seal of this envelope I signed my name and dated it.  This envelope was then placed in my lock box with all other vital paperwork.  This will keep me accountable.  And I will do my husband proud and save the money we need and pay off as much debt as possible.  This included paying off the balances on our two credit cards before I ever start saving to go to Germany.  

     So I will do this!  I will live frugally.  I will live only on cash and for gas, my gas card.  (I have another post planned on how I plan on cutting expenses to save even more money.)  

     What drastic measures do you do to save yourself money?