Faith. My journey. Part 2.

When my husband deployed, I knew my faith in God needed to restored and empowered.  I needed to learn about my God, I needed to trust Him, and I needed to live a life He would be proud of.  I knew for my sanity this needed to happen.  I needed to let my burdens fall (of being a single mother with my husband deployed) and rest not on my own shoulders.  I needed to know I was being taken care of and that my family would be safe.  I needed to understand that no matter what happened, it was His plan and not my own.  I needed to know that only Heaven awaited my family and that this life is just a blimp on the radar, and therefore this deployment was just a blink of an eye, in the grand scheme of things.  I needed God for me and I needed God to cope.  
And so I connected with other women online who shared my passion for furthering our relationships with God, I started reading my Bible, I started an independent Bible study, and I started going to church.  I started praying at night and any time I felt I needed to, before meals, during stressful parts of my day, when I was upset.  I lifted it all up to Him.  And He carries the weight.  He carries the weight of a son in war, He carries the weight of a friend needing surgery to remove a brain tumor, He carries it all.  And do you know, my back hurts less, I have fewer headaches, and I feel more relaxed on a daily basis.  He is my rock.  
And over these last few months, I have found I trust the Lord.  I trust Him enough to go to bed every night knowing that even though my husband is deployed serving our country, he is safe.  I know that my family will be provided for no matter what, but that I should use my money to honor Him, not to honor myself.  (This is one reason I am compelled to share my story through the Internet, why not take advantage of this gift.). And I know that with my listening to the Lord, instead of my own heart, I will follow the path in life I am supposed to follow.  And because of this, I am at peace with my future.  It does not stress me out.  (Okay, I will be completely honest, it does not stress me out as much).  
I am proud to say I am Christian.  I am proud to read my Bible.  I am no longer ashamed of praying in public.  I will yell my belief and faith to all who will listen.  I am looking forward to further strengthening my relationship with God and giving it all over the only person who really can make or break my life.