Vacation and illness.

This was a tough week.  But a great week.

It all started on Saturday morning with last weeks weigh in.  It was then spent driving to Raleigh to spend my last weekend away with my husband and daughter.  I ate what I wanted, but made good decisions.  I ate an egg McMuffin, a wrap from Roly Poly, chicken and orzo, cheesecake, coffee, a sandwich on a pretzel, more coffee and Taco Bell.  It was a great weekend.  But I controlled my portions.  I ate healthy options (like no cheese on the wrap).

I then spent Monday and Tuesday working and working out, counting points, drinking water, being good.  And then I was hit, hard with a 24 hour stomach virus from hell.  I spent the better half of 24 hours in my bathroom.  I was so sick I called out of work but still sent my daughter to her babysitter.  In 36 hours I ate and digested about 1/2 cup of macaroni and cheese.  And on Thursday my appetite was not much better.  And Friday it was back in full force.  I did not track on Friday.  But I tried not to give into every temptation.

But after a bad week, I still lost weight.  I am not sure if it is artificial weight loss because of the stomach virus or if I lost weight.  I won't be surprised if I stay the same this next week.  But I am going to work out this week and I am going to track this week.  And I am going to drink water this week.  And I am going to be good this week.  Even with the box of girl scout cookies sitting out on my counter.

I currently weigh 166.8, down 6.2 pounds in these 3 weeks and 1.6 pounds just this week.

But I want to cover some questions that Blair from The Heir to Blair posed to her readers and participators this week in her McFatty Monday post.
Are you afraid of anything with weight loss?  With success?  With shedding old habits?  What do you think causes that fear?
And more importantly, what can we do to rise above it?


I am afraid of people hating me.  I am scared that people who are fighting the same fight with weight loss will hate me if I succeed or do "better" than they are.  I am afraid that if I give in to the unhappiness I feel now and embrace it as motivation, I will always be unhappy with how I look.  I am afraid that if I truly become healthy I will isolate my husband and I's relationship by taking away something we have in common (food).  I am afraid to lose weight and then gain it back.  I am afraid of becoming obsessed.  I am afraid that if I cut out things cold turkey that I will binge at some point or that I will become sensitive to foods I love.  (I am already becoming sensitive to sugar.)
I cause these fears.  I make myself crazy.  I make myself fearful because I put crazy ideas in my head.  There are no other excuses.
I just need to chill out and change my life, not diet.  I need to change my lifestyle and eat healthier.  I need to realize that I can enjoy food and still become healthier.  I need to make a routine and then it won't feel like pulling teeth.  It will feel like my life.  I NEED TO CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE!  And in turn I will change my life.